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Marriage

yesterday i listened to an amazing story on The Moth by critically acclaimed author Andrew Solomon about his journey to becoming a father. Andrew is gay, and he got married to his partner John after initial hesitation as he wasn’t sure if he believed in the idea of marriage. they wed in a civil partnership ceremony in the UK (at Althorp, Princess Diana’s childhood home – love that) and what he said in the podcast* about the act of getting married is lovely:

I found that though our commitment had seemed to me to be permanent and declared and established before that, that the experience of having all of these hundreds of friends gathered together witnessing our love shored it up and strengthened it and gave it a new depth, and gave it a new resonance that I had never imagined or anticipated. And I found the fact that we were celebrating that love in a ceremony that echoed in some sense the one my parents had had, and the ones my grandparents had had, and the ones that presumedly went back generation upon generation exalted the feeling between us. And it was very joyful.

on a related note, Capetonian illustrator Lauren Fowler shared her beautiful wedding to Gene on her blog, and the reading given by her brother Russell is now up there with my favourites:

The best description of marriage I ever heard was made in reference to architectural structure, that its strength is the result of a delicate balance between stress and support. I like that description because it implies that active forces are required to make it work, a kind of dynamic tension between the mundane and the sublime that makes the act of marriage one of purposeful intention, of daring, courage and high adventure.

i wish i had had similarly eloquent words to express myself on the day we got married, but i couldn’t pull myself together in my rambling thank you speech (emotions, guys!) even now it’s hard to find the words. i’ve always been a more visual person, which is why these help:

anton-diana-weddingMiss Moss WeddingMiss Moss Wedding

wedding video shot & edited by Jonathan Sidego. photos by Love Made Visible.


* PS: what podcasts are you guys listening to? i have my firm favourites – This American Life, The Moth, Nerdist… but i am always looking for new recommendations. Death, Sex & Money is a new favourite, too. let me in on your podcast secrets!

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47 Comments

  1. Such beautiful words for a wedding!
    I listen to lots of monocle’s radio podcasts, as well as 99%invisible, stuff you missed in history class and the good life project. Will definitely check out the death sex & money one, thanks!

  2. Podcast: “How did this get made”
    They choose a terrible movie to watch beforehand and then come together to discuss it. Here’s a list of all the episodes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/how-did-this-get-made/id409287913?mt=2
    Listening to Jason Mantzoukas express himself is the best part of the whole thing (he has a great voice, too).
    Sometimes it’s nice to specifically watch one of the movies just to hear the podcast. Not all of the episodes are winners, but I guess that depends on the shittiness level of the chosen movie…
    Anyway – if you see one on the list that makes you recall the total nightmare of having to sit through it, that’s probably the one you should start with.

  3. Yes I second the Monocle podcasts esp The Stack, also recommend The New Yorker’s fiction podcast. Marriage is the best :)

  4. I think you’d love 99% Invisible. And I’m not sure how you feel about babies, but the Longest Shortest Time’s stories about early infancy are fascinating, moving, terrifying, all the things parenthood really are.

  5. such a lovely post. I love the illustrator’s words on marriage. It’s true that dichotomy exists inside marriage-architecturally giving a profound relationship between passion and the day-to-day. Thank You for sharing :)

  6. Nerdist and This American Life are favorites of mine too. But my all time favorite is Radiolab – I end up learning about the most interesting and random things, it makes all my time soldering feel doubly useful! I also like Spilled Milk – short podcast bursts focusing on two friends talking about different foods in a very friendly and warm way, you’ll want to be their best friend. Desert Island Discs is also a great old faithful. I’m always seeking new listening for my workdays, so I’m looking forward to reading other comments!

  7. I agree with Ashley, RadioLab is excellent! I always learn new and interesting things through them. Another good one (but totally different vibe) is the Joy the Baker podcast, it’s two blogger best friends talking about their lives and things going on in the blogging world. They are very funny; it’s like a good girly chat!

  8. Thank you for sharing! I’m always questioning traditions as I was raised to be a rebel. But I very much value my marriage and what you shared here puts into words what is so wonderful about marriage. My husband and I were together for 4 years before we got married and we had lived together for more than 3 years of that. I didn’t know our wedding day would be as meaningful as it was but we did enter into a greater commitment that day. And that surprised me. Marriage is a gift :)

  9. WTF with Marc Maron- discussions with comedian Marc Maron featuring a variety of guests (focusing slightly on other comedians and musicians)
    History of Rome-The entire history of Rome, by Mike Duncan
    Revolutions-Mike Duncan again, featuring the history of various Revolutions. He just finished the English Civil War, American Revolution, and next is French Revolution.

  10. Lovely wedding video!
    For podcasts, I love the BBC’s (comedy) News Quiz, every Friday night. Also the BBC 5 Live’s film progamme every Friday afternoon, Kermode & Mayo’s Film Review – aka Wittertainment (but I’m a film obsessive).

    • that was actually one of the first podcasts i ever listened to, but i stopped listening to it when they changed presenters. i don’t like change! might have to give it another chance.

  11. I listen to this American Life, The Moth, the Nerdist, WTF with Marc Maron, Freakonomics, RadioLab (a favorite of mine!), TedTalks (another favorite!).

    Val

  12. I don’t have any recommendations for podcasts (besides Design Sponge’s After the Jump) as I only recently discovered I like listening to them while working, so I’m really happy with all these recommendations. But I wanted to say that I loved your wedding video and that your man seems like a really good guy; well done ;)

  13. Di! Thanks for the mention! Those words my brother spoke rung so deep in me. Your video is so gorgeous and the most beautiful thing is seeing your shining smiles at each other. Ok. Now. Podcasts, so glad that people are posting ones I don’t know about! I’m a total radio lab junky, you’ll love them cause I know you’re also a science nerd **cosmosss** I also love listening to the ted talks on npr :)

  14. Your wedding video made me tear up! Congrats again and wishing you two a lifetime of happiness! ps. Your dress was beautiful! And I love that song by beach house.

  15. emma-jean says

    Beautiful pictures, thanks for sharing all that you do. x

    All of the podcasts that are part of radiotopia are wonderful http://www.radiotopia.fm/ I also just started listening to Death sex and Money – such wonderful tales.

  16. Podcast are still something very shady and obscur to me. But if hearing those kind of hopeful and filled with love speeches, I will definitely give it a second try and follow your podcasts advices !

  17. Thanks for the link to Lauren & Gene’s wedding. The setting is beaut and their photo booth super playful. One of my favourite podcasts is Q w/ Jian Gomeshi. It’s a bit Canadian in its perspective but Jian is a fantastic interviewer and has a voice like smooth peanut butter. A great music podcast is the Strombo show. It features 3 hours of commercial free radio, timely focus on new artists and a sprinkling of the classics (think Black Sabbath or Ella Fitzgerald).

  18. My Best podcasts:
    RadioLab
    KCRW’s Strangers – Stories about strangers and how interactions with strangers can be life changing
    Your Dreams My Nightmares – a fantastic podcasts for people who love illustration.
    By The Way – Jeff Garlin interviewing comedians- it’s hilarious

    Enjoy! I’ll check out the Moth. x

  19. Hi Diana!Haven’t commented in a while but your video is so beautiful and got me teary eyed. So nice to witness all the love you share.I think that the wedding day is more of a “comma” in a beautiful love story. And marriage is another segment and adventure where it’s not so much the grandiose acts of love but the simple acts of love that matter in the day to day. All the love and blessings in your journey of love.

  20. It’s not for everyone but I am OBSESSED with Uhh Yeah Dude, which is described as “America through the eyes of two American Americans” and ultimately it’s two guys making fun of things. I find it completely hilarious and a great listen while I’m illustrating (and I don’t think you have to live in the States to find it entertaining). It can be crass, absurd, and certainly not polished and beautiful like the things you post about, but I love both this blog AND Uhh Yeah Dude, so maybe you’d enjoy it too??

  21. Here are two podcasts I’ve been devouring lately:

    Planet Money- Economics explained! I feel like I’m slowly making up for poor marks in college econ. And I no longer dread talking about money. Recently they did this project where they followed the entire process of making a tshirt- every penny that goes into it. So fascinating.

    The Writer’s Almanac by Garrison Keilor- Just love his voice. It’s a tiny writer’s bio and a short poem every day.

  22. Had a little cry at your video, so lovely ( I and I’m proper soppy also).It’s so interesting to hear a variety of view points on marriage, and to see where mine lay in there too. Looking forward to trying some of the podcasts in the comments above!

  23. I second almost all of the podcasts already mentioned.. so, here are a few more mostly related to my love of film and art..

    The Film Programme – BBC radio 4
    KCRW’s The Treatment
    Studio 360
    Selected Shorts from PRI (amazing short stories read by actors)

  24. Beautiful video and wedding photos:) It really does capture the feeling. How did you and Anton meet? I love hearing peoples stories. Apologies if you have already shared!

  25. So lovely. I am being talked around to marriage (an institution I’m not totally convinced by for all the above reasons). I’m still not sold on weddings but your video is pretty convincing – you both look so happy!

    Podcasts – I would add the slate culture and double x gabfests, the New Yorker out loud, the New York Times book review and bullseye w/ Jesse thorn.

  26. Natalie says

    First off, I LOVE your blog. Always inspired after leaving this space. Been reading for years, but this is my first time commenting!

    I’d highly recommend The New Yorker Fiction podcast. A famous author chooses a piece of short fiction from the magazine’s archives, reads it aloud and then discusses it with the editor. It’s really great.

  27. @MELISSA: I’m a big fan of the Uhh Yeah Dude podcast and this blog (obviously) as well! 20064LYFE! Seatbelts!
    @DIANA: Your wedding video is amazing!

  28. charlotte says

    thanks to the video of your wedding, you ruin my make-up!!!
    God, this is so beautiful, you had such a beautiful day and the love in the eyes of your husband, damn, this is so priceless! I wish a lifetime of happiness!!
    I can’t wait to find my futur one and only!

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